


If it's into the darkness with you, I don't mind

by Nightsdawn



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Battle, Childhood Friends, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Healing, Loss, Minor Violence, Slow Burn, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23023465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightsdawn/pseuds/Nightsdawn
Summary: Ingrid and Sylvain are not unscathed, and as much as they avoid dealing with the issues of their past, their past still creeps up on them. However, they have each other.Chapter 1 - Sylvain & Miklan
Relationships: Ingrid Brandl Galatea & Sylvain Jose Gautier, Ingrid Brandl Galatea/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 16
Kudos: 68
Collections: Sylvain Week 2020!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on my love of these characters and my desire to see them heal. I hope I do them justice!  
> I am planning to continue the story. This is the first chapter. Feedback is much appreciated.

“Miklan...my brother,” Sylvain whispered in horror as he watched the terrifying monster turn into his brother’s lifeless corpse. The haunting sound of the Lance of Ruin hitting the ground echoed in the dark fort. The battle had been won.

With heavy feet and the weight of his crest bearing down on him with every step, Sylvain walked up to his brother’s body. Miklan's tough, cruel face was now permanently frozen in an expression he’d never seen on it: Fear. Sylvain turned his eyes away from his dead brother and picked up the heroic relic. It shone brightly in his grasp, but he quickly tossed it at Byleth. Touching it made him feel sick.

He looked down at his blood-stained hands. It’s Miklan’s blood. A twisted smile cracked its way onto his solemn face. _Usually, my blood would be spilled when Miklan was around_. _How ironic, I’m the one who made him bleed for the last time_. His mouth tasted bitter. _I fulfilled Miklan’s prophesy_. _I am the ultimate villain in his story, right up until the end._

Sylvain despised his selfish, violent, abusive brother. For as long as Sylvain could remember, his brother’s eyes were full of hate. And yet, guilt weighed heavily on Sylvain. As a child, Sylvain yearned for his brother’s acceptance and love. _It’s fucked up_. Sylvain lowered his head. _Crests, my family, the whole of Fodlan is just a fucking mess_.

Frustration rose from deep within him. He bit down on his lower lip so hard, it began to bleed. A familiar voice snapped him from his trance: “Sylvain, come with me.” Ingrid laid a gentle hand on his forearm. “Let’s get out of here. The professor and our classmates can handle…” Ingrid was interrupted by a rough response from Sylvain.

“No. I’m going to be the one to clean up his mess.” his voice was sharp and gruff, leaving no room for argument. With shaking hands, he lifted the cold, stiff body onto the cart. He placed two coins on Miklan’s eyes to hold them shut. Then, he grabbed a blanket from his saddle to cover up the lifeless form. “Goodbye.” Sylvain whispered through gritted teeth.

~

It took well into the afternoon before Ingrid was free from her duties. Immediately, she began looking for Sylvain. She searched for an hour before her stomach grumbled a loud warning. To Ingrid’s shame, the cheerful gate keeper had overheard her angry stomach.

“Well, well, hungry, are we?” the gatekeeper asked in a big booming voice, drawing the attention of others.

A pink color surfaced in Ingrid's cheeks.

“You should be off to the dining hall. I heard today’s special is pheasant roast with berry sauce, yum! I already saw that huge, muscly guy with the wild blonde hair make off in that direction. I really hope there will be some food left this time. That guy could eat an entire flock of wyverns if he had a chance.”

After a nod to the gate keeper, Ingrid turned on her heel and speed walked in the direction of the dining hall. _If Raphael has already been at the food, goodness knows what’s left_. Ingrid’s speed increased.

At dinner, she planned to sit with Sylvain to gauge how he was faring. Maybe tell him he could always come to her to talk. Or... She thought hard for a moment before letting out a sigh. Scolding him felt like the natural thing to do when in his presence. Brainstorming ways of cheering him up was tricky for her. _Meat,_ Ingrid contemplated. _Yes, meat always improves one’s mood as well as energy._ _Well, at least from my experience_.

She had decided, she would offer him her serving of today’s meat. Goodness knows she had to make a strategic jab at the meat, gently shoving Caspar aside to acquire the pieces on her plate. She gazed at the open door of the dining hall, waiting for Sylvain to make his grand appearance. He never could walk into the dining hall without winking, throwing air kisses or making some kind of inappropriate comment at some girl. Unfortunately, Ingrid’s good intentions were wasted. He never appeared in the dining hall that evening.

Sylvain’s absence at dinner only increased the tightness in Ingrid's chest. Memories of loss flooded her brain. She sympathised with Sylvain’s desire to avoid others. However, she knew from her own experience that this desire wasn’t healthy. Ingrid racked her brain for a second time as to how to approach Sylvain and offer support. That’s when an idea came to her. She ran to the marketplace, just before the shops closed, and purchased one of Sylvain’s favorite board games.

She checked the training grounds. Felix was there, of course. When Ingrid asked him if he had seen Sylvain, Felix sighed heavily and sharply answered, “Leave him alone. He probably doesn’t want to be bothered.” Felix went back to training, ignoring Ingrid’s desire for assistance in finding Sylvain. Ingrid knew he was worried too. Ingrid could read her childhood friend like a book when he sparred. His stance was wide open, and his jabs were less aggressive than usual.

She met Mercedes in the cathedral. Ingrid doubted Sylvain would be there, but she wanted to be thorough in her search.

“Hi, Ingrid. Are you looking for someone? Sylvain, perhaps?” Mercedes could always read people quickly. It was a bit uncomfortable for Ingrid. Ingrid felt safe behind the guard she put up, a guard that Mercedes could always pierce.

“Good evening, Mercedes. As a matter of fact, yes, I am looking for him,” Ingrid answered. “ I...uh...Have you seen him?” Ingrid couldn’t express, in words, why she needed to see him. She just did.

“No, I haven’t, but I am worried about him,” Mercedes said easily.

_Why can't it be as easy for me to say that?_ Ingrid pondered.

Mercedes continued as if to explain herself, “Although, I know nothing of his history with his brother. I know family is both a joy and a curse at times. When you find him, please let him know he has many friends he can rely on if he needs someone to talk to.” Her voice was kind and all-knowing as usual. Ingrid wondered what kind of life Mercedes had led. What kind of past had given her such an understanding of human nature?

“Of course, I will, Mercedes. Thank you!” Ingrid responded.

As she walked down the long bridge from the cathedral to the rest of the monastery, she caught a glimpse of Byleth, Dimitri and Dedue having a serious discussion a few yards ahead. Ingrid tried not to bother them by quietly walking around them, but Dimitri caught her and said loudly, “Ingrid.”

“Oh, good evening, your highness and professor...and uh Dedue.”. Her eyes shifted away from Dedue as she still didn’t feel quite comfortable in his stoic presence.

“Ingrid, have you seen Sylvain?” Dimitri got right to the point.

“No, I have not,” Ingrid said as feelings of anxiety crept up her throat. She pushed them down. Dimitri nodded grimly. Ingrid turned to Byleth. “Professor, has Sylvain talked to you since--” she paused thinking of how to phrase it. “Since the last battle?”

Byleth shook her head. “I often see you talking loudly to Sylvain. You two are childhood friends, correct?”

Ingrid nodded with a slight flush. She knew Byleth meant “yelling” when she said “talking loudly”.

“I was wondering,” Byleth continued, “if you could check up on him. The last battle was rough on everyone, but it must have been especially tough on him.”

“Yes, Professor. I will check on him and report back to you immediately."

“Thank you.” Byleth’s voice was soft and comforting.

Ingrid’s tired feet took her up the stairs to the dormitory designated for nobles. Sylvain’s room had to be right at the end of the hall. At the exact opposite end from her own room. At this time of night, it would be rather improper for her to knock on his door, but Byleth had asked her to check up on him. Plus, she didn’t want to have wasted her evening, meat, and money without at least seeing his face.

As she walked up to his door, she heard a loud thump, followed by a painful grunt. Fear took over her senses. If Sylvain is thinking of harming himself, she would have to put a stop to it. Flashbacks of her self-inflicted hibernation filled her mind. Her heartbeat sped up and without hesitation, she pushed the door open.

To Ingrid’s surprise, and dismay, there were three sets of eyes glaring at her. Sylvain was on the ground, rubbing his back as if he has just fallen. There was a girl sitting on his chair and another girl sitting on the edge of his desk. Right on top of his unfinished homework.

“Oh! Ingrid!” Sylvain said, unable to hide his surprise. “I slipped while showing these lovely ladies my special finishing blow move. I looked cool though, right, girls?” Sylvain winked at them as he lifted himself up off the ground.

The girls giggled., “Well, right up until you fell,” one flirtatiously teased.

“I thought you looked cool the entire time,” the other said, obviously trying to get into Sylvain’s good graces. _Like that’s hard_ , Ingrid thought to herself.

“Ladies,” Ingrid said sharply, and then upon hearing her tone, she softened it a bit. “It’s past curfew now and I just saw Seteth making the rounds. You would not want a long lecture from him about keeping up proper appearances. Sylvain,” her voice slipped back into annoyance. “The professor asked me to give you a message.” Ingrid avoided eye contact with Sylvain as fire raged within her.

“Ladies, I’m afraid our night will have to end. But don’t worry, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He winked again.

The ladies shot an annoyed look at Ingrid as they got up and walked toward the door. The girls winked at Sylvain as they left his room.

“Okay, Ingrid, what’s this message?” Sylvain said, tossing his arms behind his head.

“The professor and all our classmates have been worried about you,” Ingrid said as the anxiety from earlier transferred into anger. “But I can see that you are just _fine_! I feel like an idiot running around looking for you all evening because I was worried.”

“Aww, Ingrid. You care.”

“Joke all you want, but people were genuinely worried about you, Sylvain.” Ingrid had started shaking as the worry, anxiety, and stress all came seeping out. “After the last battle, you didn’t talk to anyone. You didn’t come to dinner. Even though you have friends to share your burden with, you avoided us. Then, I find you here, making a fool of yourself in front of people who barely know you. Mark my words, if you continue to shut out your friends and comrades this way, you won’t have anyone to turn to in your moment of need.” In her anger she threw the board game on the floor. It was against every fiber in Ingrid's body to throw food, so she placed the meat, which was wrapped in a cloth, gently on his desk. Then she stormed out of the room.

Although Ingrid was exhausted, the anger she unleashed at Sylvain gave her a fresh wave of energy. She couldn't sleep in this condition, so she went to train. She would have gone to the training grounds, but it lacked the warm fireplace that was in the Knight’s Hall.

It was late when she arrived at the Knight’s Hall. Luckily, nobody was there.

She swung her lance ferociously at the training dummies. The focus required to train allowed Ingrid to be present in the moment. It banished the unnecessary thoughts, clearing her mind. Each swing of her lance cooled her anger and loosened the tightness in her chest.

After a while, she stopped to catch her breath. _Maybe, I was too hard on him,_ she deduced. _It was unfair of him to avoid his friends, but hadn’t I done the same after Glenn’s death?_ Her head lowered. Ingrid started to wonder if she was projecting her frustration with herself on to Sylvain.

Ingrid searched her memories for Miklan. Of course her mind would lead her to the worst one. Sylvain and her were climbing the giant apple trees on the Gautier estate. She must have been around six years old then. Her father came to visit Margrave Gautier to discuss issues with defense. Ingrid had begged her father to take her along. She loved riding with her father. The fresh air, the change in scenery, riding with other knights -- it thrilled her. She felt a twinge of regret thinking back on it now. Her father would take her, but leave her siblings at the Galatea estate. Because she had a crest, and they didn’t. Luckily, her siblings were kind and loving towards her. However, she wondered if they ever felt annoyed at her existence, like Miklan had with Sylvain. How lonely and sad it must have been for Sylvain. Her grip on her lance loosened as she felt the anger in her body dissipate.

Her mind returned to the memory of climbing apple trees. Sylvain was older, so he had the advantage. Ingrid knew she had to make up for his the speed, so she climbed the tree rather carelessly. Suddenly, she missed a branch and she fell to the ground right on her back. The wind was knocked out of her and she frantically grasped for air. Sylvain climbed back down quickly and reached her just as the air returned to her lungs. She let out a cry of pain. Sylvain slowly helped her sit up.

A mean-spirited laugh thundered from behind them. They turned their heads to see Miklan. Ingrid had never seen Miklan before. He was older than her by ten years and quite intimidating, with scars all over his arms and some on his face.

“Pathetic. Little crest bearers are just delicate babies after all,” Miklan taunted.

Ingrid’s pride was injured, first by falling and now by having this bully laugh at her. She stood up, even as pain shot down her leg. “I’m not a baby. I am training to be a powerful knight! Crest or no crest, I’d never change this dream!” Sylvain stared in horror as he watched Ingrid yell at his brother.

“What do you know about having no crest? You spoiled little shit.” Miklan’s dull brown eyes had lit up with fire. He rose to Ingrid's challenge by balling his hand into a fist. He went to punch her, but his punch landed on Sylvain’s cheek instead.

“Ack.” Sylvain stumbled back from the force. Ingrid screamed, “Sylvain!!” Then, she started to cry.

Her voice caught the attention of her father and Margrave Gautier. They came quickly towards the children. At the sight of his father in the distance, Miklan ran off into the forest.

“What happened here?” Margrave Gautier’s strong voice boomed.

“Ingrid and I fell while climbing this apple tree.” Sylvain hid his bruised cheek with his hand.

Ingrid couldn't believe Sylvain had lied to his father. She would be the one to report the truth. As Ingrid opened her mouth, Sylvain's auburn eyes bore into her, pleading. Ingrid hated lying, but she couldn’t betray Sylvain’s wishes. “I fell on my back and Sylvain tried to help me.”.

Ingrid shuddered at this memory. The look of fear in Sylvain’s eyes when he saw Miklan that day. It was etched in her memory. The more she thought about Miklan, the more regret she felt about lashing out at Sylvain. _He probably just needed someone to distract him._ Ingrid felt a dull ache in her heart. _When did Sylvain stop coming to talk with me about his troubles?_

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps outside the Knight's Hall.

Sylvain entered slowly. His head was hanging, and his eyes were pointed at his hands. He was holding the board game she had thrown at him. _He must have spent a long time picking up all the pieces._ Ingrid's heart sank.

His dark eyes slowly raised to meet Ingrid's. “Listen, Ing.” Sylvain's tone was soft. His face looked completely different from in his room a few hours ago. She never could resist this face of his. “I’m sorry. I just can’t talk about it.” He paused. “Not yet.”

“No, I apologize for losing my temper earlier,” she told him softly. “Who you choose to confide in is your business, not mine. I realise that I don’t have the right to be angry with you after I avoided my friends and family when Glenn passed.” Speaking his name didn’t sting as much as it used to, but it poked at a dull pain in her heart.

“Having said that,” she quickly composed herself, “I still don’t approve of you having girls in your dormitory past curfew. You’ll get them into trouble as well as yourself. And in the end, make more trouble for me.” She stopped, realising she’d gone from apologising to scolding him.

“You’re not wrong Ingrid.” Sylvain's tone was soft. Ingrid widened her green eyes. “I mean,” Sylvain clarified, “I have precious friends here, and it’s not that I don’t trust you guys.” Sylvain paused to gather his thoughts. “After Duscar, everyone changed. Dimitri, Felix and you lost so much. The immense pain I felt from you all, I couldn’t share it with you. I didn’t lose anyone I loved in that incident. Not like you all did.” Ingrid's eyes locked onto his. Sylvain never talked about Duscar. “You were all dealing with your losses. I didn’t want to burden you with my troubles. I guess I got used to dealing with my own problems.” Ingrid couldn’t stop herself from raising an eyebrow.

“Well,” he chuckled slightly, “I never asked you to clean up my messes. I figured you enjoyed it.” He winked at her. She wanted to pretend to be angry, but a sadness hit her as his mask went on again. He took it off for a moment and became vulnerable with her.

“In any case, I am your friend, Sylvain.” Ingrid brought the conversation back to where she had initially wanted it to go,. “I would rather see you burden me with your troubles than yourself or some poor girl you’re going to soon forget. I won’t press you to talk to me, but when you’re ready, I’ll be here to listen. I’m already used to taking care of you.” Ingrid blushed slightly at the tenderness of her voice.

Sylvain smiled devilishly. “I always knew you couldn’t resist me.” Ingrid walked closer to him, and swiftly jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.

“Okay, okay, I was just kidding. No need to be mad. Let’s play a game since you went to the trouble of bringing this to me.” 

Ingrid looked at his hands as if in search for something. “Oh, you only brought the game?”

A boyish smile spread across his face. “Well, I brought this meat here too since I am quite hungry.” Ingrid’s ears perked up at the mention of meat.

“Oh, yes! I...uh...saved it for you...” Ingrid attempted to hide the desire in her voice.

Sylvain laughed. “Let’s share.”

The tightness in Ingrid's chest loosened upon hearing his genuine laugh. She took the meat from his extended hand. “Thank you!”

They moved to play the game by the fireplace. There was a brown, leather, two-seated couch facing the fireplace. Ingrid sat down, surprised at how her body sank into the chair into it. She began munching on her share of the meat. Sylvain eagerly readied the game.

Ingrid enjoyed playing board games with Sylvain as it was one of the rare times that he actually applied himself. “Get ready! I won’t go easy on you.” Ingrid said grabbing a black pawn.

~

Sylvain never tired of playing board games. It gave him clarity and focus. In a chaotic world, board games were a kind of sanctuary for the mind. At least, that’s how Sylvain felt. He could see a person’s intentions clearly by the moves they made in the game. If there was a hidden agenda, he would outmaneuver his opponent and expose it. Ingrid was too honest and straightforward for these types of games. Which was why Ingrid was losing this game spectacularly.

Noticing Ingrid’s lack of concentration, Sylvain asked, “Ingrid, you’re not falling asleep on me, are you?” Sylvain quickly added, “Not that I would mind.”

Ingrid didn’t respond to his flirtatious quip. “Sylvain lend me your shoulder for a moment. I just need a few minutes’ rest. Then, I’ll have the energy to return to my room.”.

Sylvain slid closer to Ingrid’s side, just catching her heavy head with his shoulder. As she drifted into sleep, Sylvain heard a barely audible mumble. “Sorry...Sylvain.” Her eyebrows tensed, but her eyes remain closed. “The apple tree...it’s my fault...he did that to you...”

Sylvain was fairly sure Ingrid was sleep talking. Her head was heavy up on his shoulder and her breathing was slow. “Ing?” he whispered in her ear, to make sure she was indeed sleeping. The sound of her deep rhythmic breaths was his only answer.

Sylvain sighed deeply. He knew what she had meant. Anxiety grabbed his chest again as the memory he shut away deep inside him surfaced.

It was when he was about eight and Ingrid had come to visit. Sylvain was used to Miklan punching, kicking and hitting him by then. The punch he took for Ingrid was nothing new. He lied to his father about Ingrid’s scream because he didn’t need to give Miklan any more fodder. Sylvain was glad Ingrid could read his eyes and didn’t reveal the truth. He knew she had wanted to.

Sylvain loved when his friends came to visit. They never hurt him nor made him feel bad. They always smiled at him and played with him around the chilly estate. Ingrid, Felix and Dimitri were two years younger than him, so they looked up to him. They followed his lead and listened to his ideas. His friends were his warm blanket in his dark, icy home. Therefore, when Ingrid had come to visit, he did his best to protect her from Miklan.

Luckily, after the incident at the apple tree, Miklan was nowhere to be seen all afternoon. He also didn’t attend dinner. Sylvain felt himself relax as he headed to his room from the library where he had bid Ingrid a good night. As he passed the wide courtyard, the sound of a slap startled him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw red hair similar to his own. His instincts took over and he hid behind the closest thing he could find. The family’s stone well.

“How dare you! Release me at once!” a lady screamed at Miklan.

Miklan had grabbed her hand in a desperate attempt to prevent her from leaving. “Hey, calm down. You were enjoying it until a moment ago.”

“That’s right, until you revealed that you don’t carry the Crest of Gautier. What do I need with an heirless son of a lord?” she said as if offended.

“What the!?” Miklan’s temper flared., “Yesterday you said that you wanted me and now I’m not good enough for you?"

"Everyone knows, crests and money are what's important in these lands. A lady must choose her future carefully. You have neither, so I refuse to waste any more of my time."

Miklan’s eyes flickered from wounded to enraged. "You’re a whore! I’ll take you anyway!” He began to grab at her more forcefully.

She turned around and kicked him in the groin. As his head fell down in reaction to the pain, she kneed him in the face. He fell to the ground in agony. She spat at him before walking away.

Sylvain had been frozen in fear behind the well as the ugly scene unfolded. He knew he was in danger, but he couldn’t move. Miklan rose from the ground, defeated. Miklan's hands shook as he raised them to his face. A wild roar of anguish released itself from Miklan's throat. He grabbed his hair, pulling at it. Choking sobs shook his body. Sylvain didn’t enjoy seeing Miklan in pain as much as he thought he would. He felt sorry for him. Sylvain didn’t want his brother to hate him anymore. Against his better judgement, Sylvain stood up to ask, “Are you okay, Miklan?”

Miklan’s face turned from anguish to horror to anger in mere seconds. “What the hell are you doing snooping around?”

Sylvain’s blood ran cold. The fight or flight instinct took hold of Sylvain. Fleeing from the courtyard, Sylvain had almost reached the staircase leading up to the family rooms when his arm was caught by Miklan’s large hand. Miklan jerked Sylvain towards him and yelled in his face, “It’s _your_ fault!”

The smell of alcohol on Miklan's breath churned Sylvain's stomach. “I’m sorry, Miklan!” Sylvain cried out. “I don’t want this crest! If I could give it to you, I would!" Miklan's grip on his arm only tightened. "I’ll do what you want me to, just stop hurting me!”

Miklan’s mouth twisted into a cruel smile., “Then die for me, Sylvain!”

Sylvain’s eyes widened in terror. Miklan picked him up, carried him to the well. Sylvain grabbed at Miklan’s arms, desperately trying to free himself. As Miklan lowered him towards the open mouth of the well, Sylvain dug his nails into Miklan’s arms. Sylvain kicked and squirmed frantically as the distance to the frightening darkness of the well closed. Miklan punched at Sylvain’s shoulder with his right hand as he held Sylvain with his left. Sylvain’s grip loosened enough that Miklan could push him in the well.

Nineteen-year-old Sylvain started hyperventilating. He started to feel lightheaded as he couldn’t slow his breathing. He remembered his heart breaking in that freezing, pitch-black well. He also vaguely remembered being sick in bed with pneumonia for two weeks after he was found. His heartbeat matched his quickened breaths as the trauma took hold of him. He remembered the doctor telling his mother it didn’t look very good and she should have a priest of Seiros ready to help send him to the Goddess. Beads of cold sweet started to form on his forehead. 

Ingrid’s strong, dependable arms wrapped around Sylvain like a warm blanket. Her sudden, tight grip snapped him out of reliving that nightmare. His breath started to slow as her firm grip weighed him down. Her head was still rested on his shoulder, but she had managed to slip her shoulder under his arm. One of her arms wrapped around his back, the other around his chest. Her hands met under his other arm. She gently whispered, “Shhhh”. In her secure, warm grip his body began to relax.

They were frozen in that position for a while. Once Sylvain had recovered from his episode, he noticed that Ingrid had fallen back asleep. Sylvain looked down at his dear friend. He was reminded of how they would often fall asleep next to each other like this when they were kids. Usually, it was because Sylvain had been reading a book to Ingrid. There were a few times when all four of them --, Dimitri, Felix, Ingrid and he --, would have fallen asleep together. He missed those days.

_Ingrid must be tired_ , Sylvain thought. She would be mortified knowing that she had fallen asleep on him, not once, but twice in one night. His heart warmed when he remembered the reason for her fatigue. She had been searching for him all day because she was worried about him. Normally, her worry annoyed him, as it had to do with his behavior, but this worry of hers was sweet. He brought his hand to rest on Ingrid’s shoulder and gently kissed the top of her head. In this moment he felt grateful for having a friend like her in his life. Her genuine warmth could always make the cold in him dissipate.

He rested his weary head on hers and closed his heavy eyes.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks to @yzderia on twitter for drawing this beautiful picture! The background is a little different, but I feel it captures the mood of this scene well.


	2. Ingrid & Glenn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ingrid gets confronted with her past.

“Go find a husband.” Felix’s sharp amber eyes cut through Ingrid’s.

“Excuse me?” Ingrid crossed her arms, frowning. Her jade eyes narrowed, and she felt anger begin to simmer.

Felix was unflinching. “You heard me.”

Ingrid’s simmer quickly turned to a boil. “I know you hate the ideals of chivalry and pride. So much so, you prefer to escape your duty as your family’s heir.” Her passionate eyes shot daggers at his. “You have no right to criticize me for my ideals.”

“Perhaps not.” Felix seemingly took a step back, but Ingrid knew him. She readied her defenses for what was to follow. “At least I know not to heedlessly obey orders. I know not to romanticize blind obedience. My brother taught me to think for myself.”

Felix’s words pierced through her guard like a knife through butter. The wound in her heart reopened. The passionate anger in her eyes immediately vanished. Only a look of pain and sorrow occupied them now. “Don’t you dare bring Glenn into this...”

“You’re right. Forget it.” Felix’s harsh tone didn’t soften, but no further attacks were launched from him.

Ingrid collected her books and left the library. She would seek out a less toxic environment. Felix would be in the training grounds from now, so she had no desire to go there. Dimitri would be in the Knight’s Hall. It would be nice to train with him. Dimitri was easy to get along with.

True to Ingrid’s prediction, Dimitri was honing his skill with a lance in the Knight’s Hall. Dedue stood by the fireplace, beside the couch. Ingrid’s face flushed a rosy color when her eyes fell on the couch. The couch where her and Sylvain had played a game. The couch where Sylvain broke down, and she held him. The rosy color in her face darkened to a deep red. The couch where they fell asleep together...Ingrid's face was suddenly in her hands.

“Good day, Ingrid,” Dimitri said warmly.

Ingrid quickly raised her eyes to meet his.

He looked at her with a smile. “Care to spar?”

Dimitri's presence was warm and calming. “Of course, your highness.” She enjoyed sparring with Dimitri. Even though he had great skill and technique, he was modest and encouraging. Being a constant sparring partner to Felix, Ingrid had found Dimitri’s praise and encouragement awkward at first. However, it was exactly what she needed at this moment.

Dimitri didn’t hold back, and it took all of Ingrid’s concentration to keep up. Ingrid felt the wound in her heart, from earlier, start to close back up. Training really did help clear her mind and heal her soul.

“Phew. Your Highness is as skilled as ever.” Ingrid flashed a warm smile.

“You keep me on my toes, Ingrid, by improving so quickly,” Dimitri said.

Suddenly, Dimitri’s smile fell. His expression became pensive, and he gazed at Ingrid apprehensively.

“Ingrid... I’ve been doing some thinking, and it occurs to me that I owe you an apology.” His clear blue eyes were full of sorrow.

“What? Why do you seem so serious?” Ingrid’s chest tightened. She knew she wouldn’t like his answer. His apology was for Glenn, of course. Ingrid seemed unable to escape the memory of Glenn today. It was awkward to hear Dimitri apologize for her loss. Ingrid had never blamed him. She dismissed his apology by repeating aloud the same mantra she often thought to herself. How proud she was of Glenn. How he had died a perfect knight.

Dimitri’s soft tone roughened. “Proud? Truly?”

Ingrid’s smile faded. The anger within her threatened to make its second appearance. “That’s right. I feel proud that he died for those he was sworn to protect. Proud that he passed from this realm to the next as a perfect knight.”

Dimitri’s body stiffened. His gentle eyes were now icy. “Are you really trying to turn his needless death into an ideal to uphold? Gah, you and he are so alike.”

Dimitri’s words hit hard, shattering Ingrid’s guard. The wound in her heart, now exposed, ached. “Needless death? How can you say that? Glenn gave his life for you—for everyone—and this is how you speak of his sacrifice?”

A dark shadow spread over Dimitri’s face. “You weren’t there. You didn’t witness his last moments. If you had, you wouldn’t feel that way.”

Ingrid was shaking now with anger. “I don’t care to hear your interpretation of his final moments! He was and will always be an ideal knight!”

“You would do well to rethink that ideal, my friend.” Dimitri’s voice softened.

_Did I hear pity in his voice?_ Ingrid fumed. “Pardon me?” All her restraint was lost. “He served in your guard! He took great pride in what he did –in protecting you! The very least you could do...is not spit on his memory!”

Ingrid heard her voice break and felt the moisture in her eyes build up. She needed to leave now. “If you’ll excuse me.” She dashed out of the Knight’s hall.

The sun blinded her as she ran outside. Laughter, birds chirping, and the sounds of horses neighing surrounded her. A tear rolled down her cheek. This beautiful day seemed like a cruel joke. She felt light-headed and dizzy. Her vision blurred as more tears formed.

Her feet moved on their own, taking her to the safety of her room. She curled up on her bed and hugged her knees. “Glenn, I miss you,” she sobbed. It had been a while since Ingrid had allowed her grief to take control. Now, in the privacy of her room, the only thing Ingrid could do was release it.

Memories of Glenn played in her mind. Glenn’s first win against a knight. The sounds of her lance hitting his. His stern, but kind voice, instructing her and helping her improve her lance skills. His unwavering belief in her. His intense dark blue eyes and his handsome smile that he saved only for her. Ingrid’s handkerchief was damp now, but the tears continued.

She had played the last memory of him over and over in her mind. Every detail was sharp and clear in her memory. The smell of his leather gloves cupping her face. The clashing sounds of knights gathering their armor and weapons. The deep-ocean blue hue of his eyes approaching hers. The light tickling sensation of Glenn’s raven black hair dancing on Ingrid’s neck. The soft kiss that brushed against her lips. Too short. Too sudden. And then, he was gone.

Ingrid reached under her mattress for the diary. She had kept it close, always. The pages in her diary were yellowed and the ink had started fading. Every page she turned felt heavier. Finally, she reached the last entry. The day Glenn was stolen from her. She could hardly read the words she had written. The ink had run, and her handwriting was illegible. Tucked away in the next page was a letter. It was from Glenn.

Her fingers carefully opened the letter. The paper was soft and delicate from the number of times it was read. Upon seeing his writing, her breath caught in her throat. She brought the letter to her chest and held it a moment there. After building up her courage, she raised the letter.

_Dear Ingrid,_

_I hope your training is progressing well in my absence. Our last sparring match showed much improvement in your jab. Remember to use your weight to thrust the lance when you strike. I feel confident that once you hone your skills, you’ll be a powerful opponent._

_The days are long, and repetitive. We wake, eat breakfast, and march. The nights are rather peaceful, but lonely. It’s amazing how many stars stare down at us. The vastness of the night sky sometimes feels a bit daunting. Such is the life of a knight._

_I often read your favorite book, "Sword of Kyphon," by candlelight. This diplomatic mission has been rather dull. Nothing like the heroic battles in your book. I suppose this peace is a good sign for the future of Fodlan, but a little action would give me the chance to prove myself to the older knights. They look at me like a rich kid who doesn’t belong here. Only King Lambert and Prince Dimitri know my worth._

_Dimitri is much like the king, strong-willed and just. I feel proud knowing my duty is to protect him. The future king of Fodlan. It gives me honor and such purpose to work towards a future with him as King._

_I know I left you quite abruptly after the kiss. Our first kiss. The truth is, I hate leaving your side. Once I help you train to be a knight, you can fight at my side. We would be an invincible duo. Imagining it fills me with excitement. There is no one else I would rather share my life with. I miss you, Ingrid. The words never seem to be able to escape my lips when I’m with you, but I wish you to know. I love you._

_We should be returning within a fortnight. It’s comforting to know you will greet me when I arrive home. I feel like I can take on an entire army just to see you again._

_Yours forever,_

_Glenn_

Ingrid bit her bottom lip to stop it from quivering. She felt an emptiness in her heart. There was a hole in it that would never be filled. How could she ever replace Glenn? She shook her head. _Never_. She hugged the letter tight against her chest.

Grieving for Glenn also meant grieving the loss of a future she had expected for herself. She was always meant to marry Glenn. Marry into House Fraldarius. Have the kind and knightly Lord Rodrigue as a father. Have her dear friend Felix as a brother. Become a knight with Glenn. Glenn had trained with her often, supporting her dream of becoming a knight. So many things were lost that day. Ingrid could only helplessly watch as her world fell apart, her dreams dashed.

There was a pounding in Ingrid's head now from hours of releasing her sorrow. She felt empty and spent. She lowered her head to her pillow. Her eyes began to shut when there was a light knock at her door. Ingrid remained silent. She had no desire to see anyone.

“Ingrid, it’s me,” Sylvain said in a concerned voice.

Ingrid contemplated ignoring him.

“I brought you dinner, since you didn’t come to the dining hall,” Sylvain baited.

The hunger pangs in her stomach pushed a reply out of her dry, raspy throat. “The door is open ,Sylvain. Could you please leave the food on my night table?” 

When Sylvain opened the door, the light from the setting sun entered her room. She only just realized how dark her room was. Ingrid quickly turned over so her back faced Sylvain. Entering her room, he set the heavy dish of food on the small table by her bed. He then preceded to light the candle on the table. Grabbing the chair from under her desk, he sat himself down beside her bed.

“Are you feeling alright?” Sylvain frowned.

Ingrid wasn’t sure. She just felt nothing. A shrug was the only response she could give him. 

~

Sylvain’s eyes scanned the room in hopes of finding any clues as to why Ingrid was in her current state. “Huh,” Sylvain broke the silence. “This is oddly familiar.” His eyes were locked on a tattered book from the library on Ingrid’s desk. Picking it up, he read the title, “Sword of Kyphon.” It took a moment for understanding to dawn. “I remember! You made all of us read this book to you. Dimitri, Felix, me and Glenn...” Sylvain quickly regretted saying the last name. Ingrid’s body tensed.

_Oh_. “Well, I wonder how much I remember of this. Let’s see.” Sylvain flipped open to a random page and began to read, “The busty blonde cried out in desire as she stroked her thigh against Loog’s extremely large, rock hard dic...” A pillow hit Sylvain savagely.

“How dare you taint my favorite story with your indecent imaginings! If you’re going to read it, do it properly,” Ingrid huffed.

“Ow!” Sylvain feigned indignation. Truthfully, Sylvain was relieved to see her face. Her eyes were puffy and red, but there was a fire still behind them. Years ago, when Ingrid had sealed herself away in her room, he remembered seeing her eyes. They were dull and lifeless like those of a doll. It was terrifying. If Ingrid had that spark in her eyes, he knew she’d be fine.

“Here, eat up.” Sylvain guided the plate closer to Ingrid. “I’ll read it properly.”

Without any hesitation she stuffed her cheeks. A pleasurable, “Ohhh...Mmmm,” escaped her lips.

“If you keep making those sounds, I’m going to get too excited.” The pillow struck Sylvain again.

“Can you please read the book, Sylvain?” Ingrid said through bites of food.

Sylvain smiled mischievously. “All right, all right.”

~

Sylvain’s voice was modulated as he read the book. His face looked handsome in the candlelight. Ingrid’s eyes were drawn to his moist lips. They were similar to Glenn’s. _Or were they?_ Ingrid suddenly felt panic spread through her body. _I can’t remember!_

A soft sob escaped from Ingrid’s lips and Sylvain looked up. A single tear streaked its way down her face. “Ingrid, talk to me,” Sylvain whispered. He placed the book on his lap. “What’s bothering you?”

“What if.” The words were difficult to form in her mouth. “I forget him.”

Sylvain’s eyes were doleful as he listened to Ingrid. “Tell me more.”

As if the floodgates of her heart suddenly opened, Ingrid let it all out. “I can’t remember the small details about Glenn. As time passes, I feel him disappearing from my memories. Would I recognize his voice now? What if my memory is changing him as it forgets? Are all my new memories pushing him out to make room? My memories of him are all that is left of him in this realm. I can’t let him disappear! What should I do?”

Sylvain gave Ingrid his handkerchief. She held onto it as the tears continued to slide down her cheeks. Moving slowly, he sat on her bed beside her. Ingrid’s head felt so heavy. She leaned into Sylvain’s shoulder for support, allowing her tears to fall on him.

Sylvain reached one hand around Ingrid and placed it gently on her back. “This may sound cliché, but Glenn will always be with you, in your heart. Those tiny details mean nothing. The feelings you have for him from those memories are what’s important, Ing.”

Ingrid lifted her head from Sylvain’s chest, raising her gaze to meet his. “I didn’t see his final moments,” she said as her eyes darkened. “Dimitri seems to think of his death as needless. Glenn’s death couldn’t have been for nothing.” Her body stiffened. “Glenn was the truest knight I’ve never seen. He wouldn’t have forgiven himself if any harm befell Dimitri. I refuse to believe it was needless.”

“Ingrid. Dimitri’s and Felix’s liives also changed on that horrific day. Their feelings towards the tragedy differ from yours. Felix now resents all that Glenn died for – knights, honor, chivalry. Dimitri unleashed an uncontrolled darker, vengeful side of himself in the battle at Remire Village. You put Glenn on a pedestal. I feel stuck in the middle. You all seem to have your own responses to the tragedy and misinterpret each other’s feelings.”

Ingrid remained still, soaking in everything Sylvain had said. Had she not thought of Dimitri’s feelings? Nor Felix’s? A heavy sigh released itself from deep within her. She hadn’t. Disappointment filled her as she realized, she also hadn’t thought of Sylvain’s.

The heavy weight on her heart felt a little lighter. “Sylvain, I apologize for putting you in the middle. Truthfully, I haven’t been thinking of anyone but myself when it comes to Glenn. Thank you for pushing me to realize this.”

A small smile spread on her face. “You’re surprisingly perceptive. If only you’d apply yourself to your studies and training more. You’d be a great asset to the Kingdom.”

“I prefer applying myself to a more satisfying task.” Sylvain smirked.

Ingrid raised one eyebrow. She knew exactly what "task" he meant.

A warm smile surfaced on Sylvain's face. He must have felt the atmosphere in the room lighten. “Should I continue to read?”

Ingrid nodded. She wouldn’t want to admit it, but she enjoyed hearing Sylvain read. Everyone knew he had a nice voice and a flair for story-telling. Out of all her friends, he was perhaps the best at reading stories aloud.

“All right. Move over.” Sylvain sat himself against her bed’s headboard.

“No funny ideas,” Ingrid warned as she laid down on her bed next to him.

“Never.” Sylvain pretended to be offended.

Sylvain waited for Ingrid to get comfortable and then began to read. Ingrid felt herself fall into the soothing rhythm of his reading. Her head sank into the pillow, and her body relaxed into the bed. She gazed at Sylvain while he read. A warmth spread through her as she thought of how much she appreciated Sylvain in this moment. He may be a horrible flirt and troublemaker, but he had a kind heart. Ingrid felt thankful to have him in her life.

~

Sylvain heard deep breathing beside him, so he stopped reading to glance over at Ingrid. Ingrid’s features were calm. Her lips were slightly open and her usually fierce eyes looked when vulnerable closed. Ingrid’s constantly furrowed eyebrows were relaxed. She looked unguarded and peaceful.

Sylvain’s lips spread into a smile. A wave of relief settled the anxiety built up in his chest. Sylvain despised himself for it, but he relied on Ingrid taking care of him. Worrying about him. He knew it was selfish of him, but she was the only woman he trusted. The thought of losing her friendship caused a stabbing pain in his chest.

After Glenn’s death, Sylvain didn’t know how to bring Ingrid out of her despair. She shut him out. It hurt. When Ingrid had confessed that her concern for him brought her out of mourning, he was stunned. He never understood how much she genuinely cared for him.

Lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t realized how physically close to Ingrid he had been drawn. He was almost nose to nose with her. His eyes widened as his heart skipped a beat. Ingrid’s restful face was so nostalgic, and comforting. It was also causing his heartbeat to quicken. This frightened Sylvain. He should not think of her as anything, but his dear friend. The women he romanced were for fun, he reminded himself. They couldn’t hurt him if he hurt them first. He’d never forgive himself if he hurt Ingrid.

Sylvain rose slowly, being cautious not to wake his sleeping friend. She was resting on top of her blanket, so he merely folded the side half of it over her. He closed her door quietly. It wasn’t very late at night. However, he’d rather not have to explain why he was exiting Ingrid’s room. His reputation was already tarnished. Sylvain wouldn’t desire Ingrid’s reputation to be questioned too.

The hallway was empty. Most students would be in their rooms studying or resting. Sylvain’s quickened heartbeat still resounded in his ears. Ingrid’s restful expression kept reappearing in his mind. He needed to clear his head. The girls in town would be out at the taverns. _Perfect!_

Picture by @waveoftheocean on Twitter


	3. Introduction to Ingrid's paralogue and a sauna mishap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ingrid receives a letter from her father. Another suitor. Ingrid's paralogue from the game is introduced. There is also a sauna scene.

A loud pounding at Ingrid's door startled her awake. Throwing the covers off her, she quickly crossed the small room to reach her door. Before opening it, Ingrid inspected the state of her dress and was surprised to find herself fully clothed in her academy uniform. Even her carefully braided hair remained in place apart from a few wandering strains that she quickly smoothed out. 

Memories of the night prior slowly materialized in her mind. She was crying in front of Sylvain about Glenn. Sylvain's genuine concern for her calmed the overwhelming sadness that invaded her heart that day. The last thing she remembers from the night was Sylvain's handsome profile in the candlelight and his husky voice as he read her to sleep. Ingrid felt a faint fluttering in her chest. A second knocking jolted her out of her head, and she pushed open her heavy oak door, almost hitting the messenger waiting just outside.

"A letter for Ingrid Brandl Gataea," the messenger announced.

"Thank you for your services as always, Herald," Ingrid replied as she accepted the letter.

Immediately, Ingrid recognized the writing. It was her father's. Ingrid released a heavy sigh. She felt her energy quickly drain. Another letter? Already? _I can't deal with this right now. I need food first._

Ingrid placed the letter down on her desk and changed into her other uniform. Before departing to the dining hall, she begrudgingly grabbed the letter and pushed it into her jacket pocket. 

~

Breakfast improved Ingrid's mood. The food delighted every taste bud in her mouth, and she soon found herself gaining the energy she had lost after her father's letter arrived. Annette and Mercedes had joined her for breakfast. They were discussing some of the recent happenings around the Monastery. Seteth's overbearing, but humorous brotherly chats with Flayne took up most of the discussion. 

"You know, sometimes I feel as if he acts more like a father to Flayn than her brother," Mercedes giggled. 

Annette quipped back, "Seteth acts like a father to all of us. I don't think anyone has been spared a lecture from him. Well, besides Ingrid." 

Ingrid, who had been only half-listening to their conversation, as her thoughts kept returning to the letter in her pocket, responded, "Seteth? He's only approached me when frustrated about Sylvain."

Mercedes placed her hand gently on Ingrid's and said, "Ingrid, you fuss over your friends so much. I hope you know that you can talk to us about your problems as well. You've been rather distracted this morning. Is everything all right?"

Mercedes and Annette gave supportive smiles to Ingrid, coaxing her to open up to them. Unfortunately, their efforts backfired, and Ingrid retreated behind her defenses. "I am fine. It's nothing. I am sorry for not being more attentive this morning." Ingrid gathered her empty plates and stood up. "I should be on my way to the training grounds. Thank you for sharing your breakfast with me." Ingrid was sure to flash a smile before she left. 

Ingrid was kicking herself for ruining a chance to have a friendly chat with the other blue lion's girls. Truthfully, she still isn't comfortable conversing with females her age. Her little experience with being around girls and girly things has caused her some hesitation. From as far back as she can recall, she had been surrounded by boys and men: her brothers, her father, and her closest friends. A pang of guilt stabbed at her when she remembered her last conversations with two of her childhood friends. 

Felix's and Dimitri's words had poked at the unhealed scar in her heart the last time they talked. The moment they mentioned Glenn, Ingrid's defenses were activated, and she responded to them both with hostility. Felix and Dimitri have similar wounds, she knows this, but it's not fair that they know more about Glenn's death than she does. Part of her was angry. She was mad that Glenn was taken from her, and no one dared to tell her the details. She was fuming at the fact that Felix and Dimitri refused to praise Glenn for his knightly sacrifice, a sacrifice that stripped Ingrid of her future and her greatest support. 

Sylvain's words to her last night about Dimitri's and Felix having their own thoughts on Glenn's death did resonate with her. It was true that during the months she had locked herself in her room, she never inquired about how anyone else was faring. Ingrid couldn't see past her despair, and all her energy was used towards staying afloat. She often considered letting herself drown in her sorrows because why should she stay in a world without her shining knight?

At that time, she couldn't take on the burden of their loss. She regrets not being there for Dimitri and Felix. Ingrid had a strong urge to go and make amends with Felix and Dimitri. However, the hurt prevented her from seeking them out. She still felt vulnerable, especially with this morning's delivery. 

Where to go from here was the question on Ingrid's mind. Felix would most likely be on the training grounds and Dimitri in the Knight's Hall. It was too early for class, so perhaps the Blue Lion's classroom would be a quiet place to catch up on her homework. 

_

Unfortunately, focusing on her homework was rendered impossible as the letter's presence continued to scream at her from the back of her mind. Ingrid opened the letter swiftly and read the contents. She allowed her frustration to be vocalized in a heavy sigh. A sigh that caught the attention of Dorothea and Byleth's who just entered the classroom. 

Dorothea and Byleth coaxed the letter's contents out of Ingrid. Another suitor prospect, from some rich noble knowing nothing about her, apart from her Crest. It's not surprising, but it still disturbs her. Byleth's expression never really changes, yet Ingrid saw the way her eyebrows furrowed slightly, and her body tensed. Dorothea was the first to break the silence, however.

"Best advice I could give you, Ingrid? Stay far, far away from this guy." Dorothea's harsh tone fanned the flame of anxiety in Ingrid.

"He's offered a sizable dowry, so I must at least consider it—for the sake of my family," Ingrid's words felt lifeless. It was her duty, but she couldn't mask her complicated feelings about playing the martyr.

Dorothea persisted. "Dowry? Ha! Blood money. That's all it is."

Dorothea's harsh tone made Ingrid take a step back. The certainty in Dorothea's voice was chilling. "Dorothea, I—"

"This jerk's fortune is soaked in blood. Do you want to rebuild your own house using that kind of money?" Dorothea's emerald eyes sparkled. An idea was forming in her mind. "I mean, it's all just rumors, but I think it still might be worth investigating." Her fierce gaze turned to Byleth. "What do you think, Professor? Should we go check this guy out?"

Without a moment's hesitation, Byleth responded, "Let's go."

Ingrid felt like an awkward statue watching helplessly as Dorothea and Byleth organized a spy mission on her behalf. 

"Great! Let's tell the others," Dorothea said, seeming quite satisfied with the turn of events.

Ingrid's stomach churned. _The others_? It was mortifying enough for Dorothea and Byleth to get involved in her father's matchmaking. Now her classmates too? Ingrid lowered her head. She couldn't refuse Byleth's help. "Uh, really? Okay..." her lukewarm response seemed to please Dorothea, as she quickly nodded to Byleth.

Ingrid's classmates were soon assembled in the Blue Lion's classroom. Byleth cleared her throat and stood at the front of the room. The class came to order quickly. "If you would like to gain more experience on the battlefield, we have an extra mission this month. It is not mandatory. However, it is to aid a classmate."

Ingrid shrank into her seat. Her eyes were glued to the table, and she kept fidgeting with the end of her braid. Oh Goddess, here it comes.

Byleth's eyes scanned the room before she continued. "Dorothea believes a certain high-ranking merchant has questionable business practices. Ingrid's father has asked her to consider this merchant as a potential suitor. However, if the rumors of his shady character are true, the proposal will be refused."

Immediately, Ingrid felt the curious stares directed at her. How she wished she had learned faith magic so she could warp herself away from this embarrassment.

Professor Byleth continued, "I have agreed to investigate these rumors with Ingrid and Dorothea. We will leave at dawn tomorrow. Those interested in joining us, please meet us at the front gates. Class dismissed."

Ingrid felt grateful for Byleth's short and to the point approach to life and its problems. Ripping off the band-aid was the preferred approach Ingrid took to most hardships. She still dreaded the response from her classmates. She remained seated, not wanting to burden others with her problems.

Mercedes approached Ingrid first. "Ingrid, I understand how you must feel more than you know. Please know that I will be joining you tomorrow." Mercedes' voice was soothing and sweet. A small smile spread on Ingrid's face.

Before Ingrid could respond, Annette popped out from behind Mercedes. "Me too! Us girls gotta stick together in times of need, right?"li

"Thank you both." Ingrid shifted in her seat. "I know you both love to visit the shops in town on your days off. I apologize for stealing your time tomorrow." Ingrid glanced down.

"Don't say that, Ingrid! It's no trouble at all!" Annette's passionate gaze bore into Ingrid. "Oh! Mercy!" Ingrid jumped at the sudden volume increase. "We're supposed to help out in the kitchen today! I'm sorry, Ingrid, but we have to go." Annette grabbed Mercedes' hand and pulled her away.

"Goodbye, Ingrid," Mercedes managed to get out before Annette had rushed her out the door.

Ingrid sighed heavily as her thoughts returned to her father's letter. Even if this suitor is found to be corrupt, her father will find more suitors. What then?

Dimitri's shadow covered the tabletop, and Ingrid glanced up to see her awkward friend. His eyes avoided hers, and she knew he was still wounded from their argument the other day. "I'll be there to lend my assistance with the mission tomorrow. Please get some rest tonight." He hesitated for a short moment before leaving the classroom. Dedue kept in his shadow as usual.

Felix rose from his chair in a huff and headed toward the door. He briefly stalled at the entrance. "I'll go. It's a chance for real battle experience." With that proclamation, he left.

A wave of relief ran through her as Felix didn't press her for details about the mission. His words from the other day about finding a husband still stung. Especially now.

Ashe and Caspar also informed Ingrid of their desire to join in the mission tomorrow. She plastered a smile on her face as she thanked them. Their support touched Ingrid, but the circumstances made it difficult to form a genuine smile.

The classroom fell silent as her classmates had shuffled off to their next task. Ingrid felt stuck to her chair. Her legs felt as heavy as iron axes, and her shoulders felt as if they were weighed down by armor. What if we find nothing? Would I marry this man? She would be fulfilling her duty to her family. She should be proud. Yet...Ingrid felt hollow. Was her existence simply to be an empty vessel used for the happiness of others? What of her happiness? Hopes? Dreams? Did they all perish with Glenn?

"You trying to burn holes in the table with that glare?"

Ingrid spun around and met Sylvain's gaze.

"Sylvain..." Ingrid's heart skipped a beat. Immediately, she dismissed it as nerves. "Why are you lingering in the classroom? You should be off training. Recently, your lance jabs have become rather sloppy."

"What? No, they haven't. I train to survive another day. Another day to find more beautiful girls to spend time with. Besides, I could never be as driven as you, Ingrid. I mean, who could?" Sylvain teased.

"I wonder if my efforts are in vain..." Ingrid said. Her voice was forlorn and distant.

Sylvain's eyebrows raised. He then quickly let out a bark of laughter. "You got me, Ingrid. I'll train with you, so let's go."

Looking up to the ceiling, Ingrid let out another sad sigh. "I don't feel like training today."

Sylvain stared at her, jaw agape and eyes widened. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up in one smooth move. A subtle red color surfaced in her cheeks as Sylvain's unflinching gaze bore into her. She freed her hand with a sudden jerk. "Sylvain, what was that?"

"Listen, it's obvious you're upset about this mission. I never thought I'd live to see a day where Ingrid Brandl Galatea says no to a training session. Let's chat about whatever is bothering you over lunch."

"Everyone will be eating lunch in the dining hall. I'd rather not have to speak to everyone about it. It's my problem. I'm uncomfortable asking them for assistance." ,

Scratching his head, Sylvain looked as if he was rummaging through his brain for the perfect place. His eyes flashed. "Ah-Ha!" He smiled widely. "The sauna!"

"The sauna?" Ingrid said as one of her eyebrows slanted up.

"You always complain about muscle pain. Besides, the sauna will be relaxing. A great place to talk about troubles. Also, it would be empty during lunch."

Yesterday morning's training session had been quite taxing on her muscles, and Ingrid found herself unable to think of an excuse to reject his idea. Basking in the warmth of a sauna with a friend. Sounded nice.

"You convinced me. Let's go," Ingrid said. Her enthusiasm even surprised herself. Recently, she's enjoyed her time with Sylvain.

~

The Sauna Boss was quite an intimidating figure. He was dressed in the chains and spiked shoulder armor of the grappling class. His rough voice matched the look. "Sauna's closing. It's lunchtime."

Ingrid shot a crestfallen look at Sylvain. She had allowed herself to get excited about sauna time. Sylvain walked closer to the Sauna Boss and whispered in his ear. Ingrid watched closely at the exchange. Sylvain subtly passed something to the Sauna Boss, who then gave something back to Sylvain.

"I'll be back in an hour." The sound of clanking chains could be heard as he departed.

A smug smirk presented itself on Sylvain's face. "Always works. Come on, Ingrid!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the sauna.

"I don't know how I feel about this..." Ingrid muttered. There were too many questions popping up in her mind about Sylvain's interaction with the Sauna Boss, but she allowed herself to be pulled along against her better judgment.

Sylvain's hand holding hers, it was so nostalgic. As he looked back at her, his playful smile mirrored the same one he wore when they were children. It was carefree and trusting. Ingrid's guard lowered as the fond memories of them as children filled her heart with comfort. Those times were pleasant. The four friends were so innocent, trusting, and close—a time before the pain, terror, and loss. Ingrid would love to go back there.

Once inside, Sylvain let her hand go. Ingrid felt a pang of sadness as the heat from his hand vanished as did her nostalgia. "All right. The men's change room is over there, and here is the women's." His hand gestured to a hallway that led to a large door. "See you inside!" Sylvain told her, before skipping off into the men's changing room.

He loves the sauna, how cute. Ingrid grinned. It might be just the thing to distract her from tomorrow's mission. Ingrid stepped into the women's change room.

~

The pungent smell of sweat assaulted Sylvain's nostrils as he walked into the men changing room. He raised a hand to pinch his nose. The room was small and dimly lit. There was a towering pile of dirty sauna uniforms in the basket in the corner. A few uniforms had fallen from the dirty laundry tower and laid abandoned on the damp ground. Sylvain opened the only window in the room. It was small and round. Hardly effective in combating the stench.

He then walked to the bench at the side of the room. With his free hand, he tugged his pants and undergarments off. Leaving his nostrils defenseless, he swiftly pulled off his jacket and shirt. Now, for the uniform. Sylvain looked for a sauna uniform in the bins placed on the shelf above the bench. There were face towels and hand towels, but no bath towels and...Sylvain's eyes widened as he processed the situation. There were no clean sauna uniforms! He raced to the dirty uniforms tower but was repelled by the potent smell of men's body odor left to marinade all morning.

Sylvain sighed in defeat and picked up a hand towel. _Ingrid would kill me if I came out in this_ . He then glanced at his academy uniform he had just removed. The thought of spending the entire day in clothes steeped with perspiration made him cringe. What if their sexy professor invites him for tea? Or if he's seated next to a beautiful girl in one of his classes. He would forever be known as Gauiter stinks-a-lot or Smellvain or Lord stench. He shook his head, vigorously. _Hell no!_ His reputation trumps any lecture from Ingrid.

Gathering his courage and two hand towels, he slowly walked out into the sauna. He placed one hand towel in front and the other behind. Sylvain let out a deep breath and pushed through the curtains into the sauna room. To his relief, it was empty. Ingrid still hadn't emerged from the women's change room.

With haste, he placed a towel on the bench to sit on. He sat down and set the other towel across his lap, making sure everything was covered. He was now ready for Ingrid

A few minutes went by, and still no Ingrid. Sylvain's body relaxed in the enveloping heat. His head swung back, moving his gaze to the ceiling. His eyes shut, his shoulders lowered, and his hands rested beside him. The sound of his deep breaths echoed in his calm mind, and he could feel each beat of his heart. It was pure bliss.

"Sylvain?! What in Serios...?" Ingrid's shrill voice made him jump, nearly knocking the towel off his lap. "Does your shameless philandering know no bounds? How many women have you seduced this way?"

"Wait, wait! Calm down for a moment. I can explain this." Ingrid crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"You must know how this looks, Sylvain."

"I know!" His heart raced as the tension in the room increased. "There were no clean sauna uniforms! If I wear my sweaty uniform for the rest of the day, I'll disappoint the ladies by smelling like a wyvern's ass."

The silence was palpable. A loud laugh from Ingrid broke the silence. "Sylvain, you are too much. Smelling bad? Is this one of the reasons you don't train often?"

"Come on, Ingrid. Would someone with these muscles never train?" He flexed his muscles and flashed her his most seductive smile.

"I'll be going now..." She turned on her heel to walk back to the women's change room.

There was a hint of disappointment in her voice that caught Sylvain's attention. "Ingrid, come back! I'll stop teasing. When I invited you here, my intentions were to take your mind off tomorrow's mission, and whatever is going on with you, Dimitri and Felix."

Ingrid twisted to face him, and her somber and bitter expression gut-punched him. It took all his strength to stop himself from pulling her down to him, taking her in his arms and comforting her. Like he had the other day. Something in her posture indicated that she had no desire to be comforted. She desired to be heard, and Sylvain would listen as long as she needed him to.

-

 _So, he had noticed._ Ingrid swallowed hard and walked towards him. Sylvain patted the space on the sauna bench next to him. He had lost the playful look he had a moment ago, replacing it with a straight face. Ingrid was reminded of the night he comforted her when she cried for Glenn. She felt like trusting him again.

The wood on the bench was smooth and dry. Ingrid sat down next to Sylvain. Her legs were together, slightly leaning to the left, and she placed her hands on her lap. The sauna had a pleasant smell of cedar and lavender. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. She felt the tension built up from the morning ease. The knots in her shoulder started to loosen as the humidity soothed her body.

"As you heard from the Professor, my father sent me another letter about a suitor." Ingrid massaged the back her neck with her palm, kneading at the immense strain there.

"When did he start looking for suitors for you?"

"It was an agreement I made with my father. He would allow me to attend Garreg Mach with you, Felix and Dimitri, if I consider the marriage proposals he shows me. You know the terrible condition our lands are in. I am, well, my Crest is, my family's only hope for a better future."

Sylvain's expression darkens, and his mouth spreads into a thin line. "Crests..." He said, looking as if he had tasted something bitter. "Ing, you do know that Galatea could ask Gauiter for aid. Hell, even Felix's family wouldn't refuse, especially since..."

"I was betrothed to Glenn?" Ingrid finished Sylvain's thought. "As you know, the Kingdom's nobles are stubborn. This includes my father. He would never take charity. A mutually beneficial exchange is different. A daughter with a Crest in exchange for a sizable dowry. A fair exchange." Ingrid felt her shoulders tense again at the thought of her being a type of currency. 

"Prisoners of our family or our Crests?" Sylvain said with a sullen expression.

"Prisoner? Is that how you feel, Sylvain?" Ingrid was taken aback. His carefree attitude gave her a different impression.

"We are here to discuss what's burdening you, Ingrid. What's wrong with marrying a wealthy man? At least you'd be taken care of." Sylvain's mask appeared again, but Ingrid would not let him escape behind it this time.

"Sylvain, you ask me to expose my troubles, but I can't ask the same of you. What kind of one-sided friendship is that?" Sylvain shifted awkwardly under her unflinching gaze. His eyes darted away, and a twisted knot formed in her gut. If she wanted him to open up to her, a different approach was necessary. She had to trust him first and let him in. 

"To answer your question," Ingrid halted until his gaze met hers again before continuing. "I don't know if I desire to marry at all. You know my dream is to become a knight. A perfect, noble knight, like Glenn, had been. However, I can't dispose of the guilt I feel for thinking this way. My family desperately needs my help." 

Sylvain's eyebrows furrowed, he looked at her with sympathy and understanding. Even though Ingrid despised people seeing her as weak, letting him in was oddly reassuring. Sylvain's mouth cracked open a little only to close a few seconds after. It's as if he lost his empty words of comfort. Instead, his hand landed on hers in a show of solidarity. A shiver ran through Ingrid's body at the contact. Could it be that she...no...there must be a chill somewhere. She looked for an open window but didn't find one. Was the sauna getting cold? 

"Is more steam needed?" Ingrid wondered aloud.

Sylvain went to get up, but Ingrid's firm grip halted him.

"I will do it." There was a faint red coloring in her cheeks that she hoped Sylvain missed. He didn't. Of course. 

"Oh, it's okay," Sylvain smirked, "I don't mind if showing you my well-defined back."

Ingrid flashed him an annoyed look but continued to add more heated charcoal to the center crate on the other side of the room.

~

Steam from the crate engulfed them in a soothing blanket of heat. Sylvain was wet with sweat. He wasn't sure how long they had been there, but he was reaching his limit. It didn't help that Ingrid had added a bit too much steam. She's always been better at dealing with the heat than him. 

Ingrid sat down and stared him down, patiently waiting for him to speak. She wasn't going to back down. Taking a deep breath in, Sylvain opened up. "My parents will arrange my marriage. I'll be like you, married off to some noble I don't know who only wants me for my Crest or fortune."

"Or whose family desires her to." Ingrid corrected him.

"I've never thought about a future I desire for myself. Before I am caged by duty, living in the present is all that's on my mind. I didn't know you even considered abandoning duty for your dreams, Ingrid. You've always been about duty." An uncomfortable feeling spread through Sylvain. He hated feeling so vulnerable. Forcing a smile, he added. "Especially about me doing mine."

"People who only live in the present, without a second thought to the outcome of their actions, might not have a future. Sylvain, I do not wish that for you." Ingrid's eyebrows were furrowed, and she was biting her lower lip. 

Gods, if only he could kiss those tender lips of hers. The concern in her expression is mesmerizing. No, stop. What the hell am I thinking? This is Ingrid! Ingrid! If she isn't training, she is scolding him. But...the pounding in his heart grows louder, and his head feels light. Sylvain's energy fell, and his eyes closed.

~

Sylvain's head smacked down on Ingrid's shoulder. "Ow! Sylvain, what are you..." His weight on her increased, and his eyes glazed over. Ingrid placed her free hand on his forehead. His face was red, and he was burning up. Ingrid shifted, attempting to prop him up, but his eyes closed, and his full weight came crashing down on Ingrid, pushing her to the ground with him on top. The hand towels fell to the ground beside them.

Ingrid's shoulder ached from the awkward fall. She attempted to sit up, but there was a pressing weight on her chest. Her eyes focused on Sylvain's face, which was passed out on her chest. In fact, his whole body was on top of her. Ingrid went to push his hips to the side to free her pinned legs. When her hands met his skin, she jolted. In her horror, she remembered that he was naked.

Sylvain! Ingrid cringed. Why do you put me in these awkward situations? Ingrid's hands brushed against his toned abs and chiseled chest as she wiggled them free from under him. The heat must be getting to her because the air suddenly became thin, and she felt lightheaded and flushed. 

Slowly, she sat up and let his head lay in her lap while she considered her next move. 

"Sylvain!" She slapped his face gently a few times. A bit harder the final time. He was out cold. He'll be no help now. Sighing yet again, she thought of the best way to move him. She would have to flip him on his back and then pull him towards one of the change rooms. It would have to be quick as well. The last thing she needed was someone to see her pulling an unconscious, naked Sylvain out of the sauna. The thought of escaping and leaving him to deal with it crossed her mind. She shook her head. She knew she couldn't help but take care of him.

Ingrid was able to flip him over. Thank God for her training sessions with Dimitri as she has definitely gained muscle blocking his attacks. Locking her arms under his and allowing his head to rest on her shoulder, Ingrid pulled him towards the women's changing room. Although she did her best to avoid looking down, a few accidental glances caused her to turn a deeper shade of red.

No wonder he is so confident. Wait, no, no. I should not think of Sylvain like this. Even if his chest was rock hard. He didn't lie to her about training, but when does he train then? She's never seen him. It would be nice to watch him sometime...No, no, Goddess, she needs to stop thinking about him in this already uncomfortable situation.

Finally, she had pulled him fully into the women's change room. Ingrid placed towels under his head before leaving to retrieve his clothes from the men's change room.

Ingrid discovered as she entered the men's change room that Sylvain hadn't been lying. The stench was overpowering, and there weren't any clean sauna uniforms. Holding her breath, she swiftly grabbed his clothes and got out.

Sylvain hadn't moved in the brief time Ingrid was gone. He couldn't be! I only left him for a moment. The color in his face was gone, and Ingrid felt the panic seize her chest. With haste, Ingrid used Sylvain's clothes to cover him like a blanket, then she frantically searched the room for a glass to fill with water. Thankfully, there were a few glasses by the water pump at the back of the room. It took a few minutes to pump enough water to fill the glass.

Ingrid returned to him with a glass of water. She lifted his head up and helped him drink some of the water. His head jerked to the side, and his eyes slowly opened. Ingrid's chest eased its tight grip, and she sighed her relief. 

After a few moments, Sylvain sat up, causing his uniform jacket to fall to his lap. It took only a few seconds for him to assess the situation. He grabbed his jacket and covered his chest before saying, with playful eyes, "Ingrid, what did you do to me?"

"Do to you!" Ingrid felt exasperated. She tossed the rest of the water from the glass at his face. "My honor would have been questioned if anyone had seen me in the situation you placed me in. Try to be grateful for the people who take care of you, Sylvain. You are fine now, so I'll leave the rest to you." She turned and walked into one of the changing stalls.

"It was a joke! I'm sorry, Ingrid." He glanced around the women's change room. It was clean, cool, and smelled of roses. There was an abundance of clean uniforms piled in the bin above the bench, and the laundry basket was half-full. Sylvain felt envious of this tidy change room. Men are disgusting, Sylvain lamented.

"Just get dressed so I can come out." Ingrid's tone softened.

"Yes, ma'am!" He collected his clothes and put them on.

As luck would have it, when they walked out of the sauna, the sauna boss was seen in the distance walking towards them. "After you give him back the keys, you should visit the infirmary. You might still be a bit dehydrated." Ingrid paused. "Thank you for the...interesting sauna experience. Next time, let's go when it's open." Ingrid flashed him a smile before walking away.

Sylvain had taken her mind off tomorrow. She'll give him that. How on earth he gets himself and her into such situations, she will never understand. Even so, he's an exceptional friend, one Ingrid will always cherish. 

Heading towards the classroom, Ingrid felt an urge to train. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you fraldariuwus for "Smellvain"


	4. Rumoured Nuptials (Ingrid's paralogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ingrid still struggles with her choice for the future. Should she follow her heart and become a knight? Or Should she fulfill her duty to her family and marry a noble? She hopes to find the answer on this mission.

The sunlight from the first dawn crept into Ingrid's room. She was awake and had been for some time. When she heard the birds chirping by her window, she knew it was time to get ready and leave for the mission. Sitting up and raising her arms, she stretched out the knots in her shoulders and neck. She winced as pain shot up her left shoulder where she had landed after Sylvain had collapsed on her…after he passed out from the heat of the sauna… naked, pressed up against her... She grabbed her pillow and buried her rose-colored face in it.

Yesterday, after the sauna incident, Ingrid spent the day training and avoiding Sylvain. She had seen...too much of him...that afternoon, and preparations for the mission had to be completed by day's end. At dinner, she was reminded of the sauna mishap as the menu featured Adrestian sausage with a side of potatoes. Although she tucked herself into bed early, thoughts of the mission and Sylvain naked disturbed her sleep.

Ingrid's morning routine had been ingrained in her since she was a young girl. The Galatea house did not have many servants. Ingrid and her brothers were taught to clean up after themselves and keep their living space immaculate. Every morning, she would make her bed, get dressed, and tidy up any mess left from the previous night. She then did her stretches and meditated. The final part of her routine was deciding on her goal for the day. This routine taught her discipline and gave her something to aim for each day.

Today's goal was to find the truth. Ingrid hoped this mission would help sort out her complex feelings about her duty. Will she choose to honor her duty to her family? Or her duty as a future knight? Time is running out for her to make this decision. The time at the Officer's academy will soon come to an end. She bit her lip at this depressing thought. This year had taught her so much about Fodlan, friendship, and herself. She never expected to have such a qualified professor and trustworthy classmates. She would miss everyone, however, now was not the occasion to digress. She finished tying all the laces on her armor and departed.

Before heading to the main gate, Ingrid collected her pegasus, Dessa. Dessa was a gift from Glenn for her tenth birthday. In the financial state of the Galatea house, Ingrid never dared to ask her father for anything other than the basics. Every time Ingrid visited the Fraldarius house, she could be found either on the training grounds or at the stables with the pegasus. Glenn must have noticed. She remembered how full her heartfelt on the day Glenn gifted her Dessa. Ever since Dessa had always been by her side.

When Ingrid arrived at the main gate, her heart swelled at the sight of her entire class gathered, fitted with armor, and on their mounts. Ingrid cleared her throat. "Thank you for coming. I apologize for the trouble." Professor Byleth walked up to Ingrid and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Time to move out!" Professor Byleth's commanding voice echoed in the silence of the early morning. Dimitri took the lead beside the professor. Dedue, Ashe, and Caspar trotted behind them. Ashe and Caspar shared a horse, while Dedue rode on his own.

"You're next Ingrid. Mercy, Dorothea, and I will cover the rear!" Ingrid glanced past Annette to see an open space for her in between Felix and Sylvain.  _ This is going to be such an awkward march _ . Ingrid mounted Dessa and trotted toward the boys.

"Ah, Ingrid. Good morning! You're looking refreshed. The sauna did some good." Sylvain's smile extended to his ears.

_ Is he not bashful at all about yesterday _ ? Ingrid felt her worry for him multiply.  _ Just how many women have seen him naked? _ It might be time for another lecture about life choices with him.

"Sauna?" Felix rested his gaze on Sylvain. Ingrid's heartbeat tripled in speed. Before Sylvain had a chance to answer, a pegasus wing had swiped at his head.

"Felix, will you ride with me first then?" Ingrid looked directly into Felix's eyes for the first time since the heated discussion in the library.

"It'll save me from listening to this idiot prattle on about women." Felix hoisted himself up on Dessa behind Ingrid.

"You wound me. Deeply."

Felix and Ingrid rolled their eyes at the same time. The Professor blew the horn. Everyone immediately stopped talking, and the march began.

The sound of horse hooves beating against the ground was all that could have been heard between Felix and Ingrid for the first hour into the journey. Felix cleared his throat. "Is your old man so desperate that he'd throw you at a shady merchant?"

Ingrid's shoulders fell. She knew she wouldn't be spared of his eventual questioning. "My father didn't know much about him. Other than him being an ambitious merchant that rose in the social ranks, eventually noticed by other nobility. And yes, the situation in Galatea remains dire."

"That stubborn man. If he asked for assistance, he would get it. Instead, he plans to sell his daughter to the highest bidder."

"From birth, it was always my destiny. With Glenn, it felt different, but now it feels heavy. It was Glenn that nurtured my desire to become a knight after all."

"Another misplaced ideal."

"Not to me! If not for Glenn, I wouldn't have been able to pursue my passion for all those years. I owe it to him to see it through."

"Then refuse the offer. Why are we even going on this mission?"

"After all my father sacrificed, I cannot refuse to do my duty to my family."

"You're infuriating! Romanticize it as much as you'd like, but duty is a noose. Dying, sacrificing, killing, all in the name of duty. It's revolting."

They rode a few more miles in silent contemplation. Ingrid would have normally fired back at Felix's slights about Knighthood, but she was reminded of Sylvain's words. She must consider how Felix felt about Glenn's death. Felix became such a different person after Duscar. From a sensitive little boy to an angry young man. Glenn would barely recognize him now. Do Felix's feelings match Dimitri's? Does he also think Glenn's death was in vain?  _ Am I the only one who does not see it the way they do? Am I running away from the terrible truth? _ Ingrid's heart sunk.

Byleth signaled for everyone to halt. The horses were tiring. It was time to replenish and rest. Ingrid grabbed the saddle's horn to dismount when Felix grabbed her shoulder. "Ingrid, think for yourself." He then released her. She dismounted and unbuckled Dessa's harness, removing it and the reins. Dessa whinnied, and Ingrid rubbed her soft, velvety nose. "Go ahead and rest." Ingrid did not have to worry about Dessa returning. One whistle and Dessa would soon be at her side.

The others were dismounting for a brief respite. Some were setting up food, others were attending to the horses and equipment. Ingrid grabbed one of the large pales and walked to the river to retrieve water to quench everyone's thirst.

Ingrid knelt along the riverbank. She took a deep breath in, smelling the fresh air and lovely aroma from the plum blossom trees. The river was wide but shallow. Ingrid could see the brown, white, and black stones sitting on the bottom of the river through its clear water.

"How many times did Felix complain about the ride? He never did like horses." Sylvain knelt beside her, filling a similar bucket with water.

"Not once. Maybe it's just your riding he complains about." Ingrid filled her bucket with fresh water.

"You're both similar. Always ready to complain about me."

"Well, if you didn't do foolish things, we wouldn't complain."

"I haven't done anything foolish in a long time."

Ingrid wasn't sure to scoff, laugh or chide at his utterly false statement. Instead, her mind moved on to a serious matter. "Sylvain, could I ask you something?"

He turned his head in her direction. "Oh, seeing me naked has sparked a desire in you? Well, I can't deny you the pleasure of having me. I think there is a bush we could hide behind over ther—" Ingrid dumped her bucket of water on Sylvain.

"Sylvain! Really? I was trying to ask you a serious question!"

"Ingrid! I'm soaked!"

"You deserved it!"

Sylvain shook off the water from his drenched clothes at Ingrid. She shoved him back, and he landed on his rear. The side of Ingrid's mouth curled up in a tiny smile. Droplets of water fell from his messy hair. Seeing his hair down and not styled reminded her of the younger boyish Sylvain. The boy who climbed trees with her, read books to her, and protected her. Things changed after the well incident. That innocent little boy was never the same.

"Let's call a truce. Tell me, what did you want to ask me about?" Ingrid's smile faded. Her eyes lowered as she gathered the strength to bring up Glenn again to Sylvain.

"It's about Glenn. Do you think his death was needless like Dimitri and Felix do?"

"Ingrid..." Sylvain lifted the bucket of water and placed it next to him. "There was something off about Duscur. Dimitri and Felix also felt it. Maybe lives could have been spared if we had known more, been more careful. I believe Glenn did what he was trained to do at that moment. But...if he were not bound by his Knightly duty, to give his life for honor, could he have thought of another solution? Could he have escaped with Dimitri? I wasn't there, Ingrid, but I believe that's how Felix and Dimitri feel."

Ingrid meditated on his words for a moment. The sound of the river running and the brisling tune of the wind blowing through the trees surrounded Ingrid with a calmness, a clarity.  _ Have I been running from the truth all this time? Glenn... I'm sorry. I didn't understand how you must have felt in your final moments. Watching your dreams of the future vanish. You wanted so much more, for yourself, for me, and for us. You were so young to be robbed of a future. _ _ I was also too young then to understand the weight of such a sacrifice. Like a childish fool, I wanted to imagine you left this realm happy and free of regrets. _ Her heart sank. She could not recall a time she saw an enemy die without fear or anger in their eyes.

"Listen, I'll take the water back, Ing." Sylvain grabbed both pales of water. "Don't think about what I said too long. You'll develop wrinkles."

"Wrinkles never stopped you from flirting with my Granny!"

"Shh. Why do you always have to bring that up?" He said before leaving with the buckets.

A faint smile appeared on Ingrid's face. She'll never stop reminding him of that. Her smile fell when her gaze returned to the flowing river.  _ Time flows on, without Glenn. _ Her hand reached into the river and felt the cold water run through her fingers. With her other hand, she cupped some water and splashed it on her face, erasing the stray tear that escaped from her eye. She didn't want to cry anymore. She didn't want to feel her future slip through her fingers like the river's cold water.  _ Think for yourself— _ Felix's words rang in her ears.

_ I won't run away any longer. I'll face the truth about Glenn, and about myself. _ A newfound strength, whether from her friend's honest words or the soothing atmosphere of the forest or both, caused her anxiety to dissipate. She rose, dusted her knees, and joined the others.

The rest was brief. They were soon back on their mounts heading toward the merchant's rumored base of operations. Ingrid and Dessa were in the air this time to scout ahead for signs of the merchant's men. Felix rode with Sylvain.

"Sylvain, you are drenched! What happened?" Felix placed a handkerchief between himself and Sylvain's back.

"Oh, you want to hear ALL the juicy details?"

"Not anymore. I'd prefer to ride in silence."

"Where's the fun in that?" Sylvain's protest fell on deaf ears as Felix's eyes were fixed on the dark clouds threatening rain in the distance.

The sky was full of clouds, so Ingrid flew lower than usual. She scanned the area, paying attention to any sign of troops, camps, or scouts. She squinted to focus her gaze on the far distance. She saw the green color of the landscape turn to a fiery red with black splotches. It was almost as if the landscape was on fire. In the distance, a wall of smoke was making its approach towards them. With haste, she guided Dessa to the ground, a few yards ahead of the march.

Professor Byleth immediately called for the march to halt. Dimitri rode with her to meet with Ingrid. "Professor. Your Highness. The road up ahead leads to a rough landscape with pools of lava and scorching black rocks. There is a wall of smoke that approaches. It will prevent me from seeing much beyond a few meters. I must join you down here from now. We should be cautious and prepared from this point on." An uneasiness spread through Ingrid.

"Indeed." Dimitri turned his head to Professor Byleth. "Professor, what are your instructions?"

Professor Byleth's expression didn't change often. The steadfast look in her eyes was a comfort on the battlefield for all of them. They trusted her and would follow any instruction of hers without hesitation. She signaled for the others to come and join them. Once everyone was assembled, the professor divulged her plan. "We will proceed with caution from here on out. Our element of surprise must not be compromised. The mission is to observe, find clear evidence of dirty dealings by this merchant's men. From our spies, we know this is their main base of operation. Avoiding confrontation is a priority. If our sources are correct, these men could be rather dangerous. Let us proceed with caution."

The smell of sulfur filled their noses as they crossed into a charred landscape of lava and rock. It felt as if they had suddenly walked into a fireplace. The heat was inescapable and intense. The air was dry and hazy. With armor on, it was difficult to breathe. Ingrid loosened the straps of her armor slightly. It only helped a bit. She hoped to find evidence of his dirty dealings quickly, so their stay would be brief. This environment did not agree with the Blue Lions students as the Kingdom's climate consisted of long winters and brief summers. Sylvain was struggling the most with the intense heat. His face was red, and beads of sweat were already forming on his forehead.

Out of the corner of her eye, Ingrid saw movement in the distance. Professor Byleth saw it too and signaled the group to conceal themselves. As luck would have it, there were quite a few large pointed rocks to hide behind.

A wagon, packed full of goods that were covered by blankets, approached in the distance. It was drawn by two plow horses, indicating that whatever was in the wagon was heavy. A man approached from the other side on horseback. They met about 20 yards in front of where the Blue lion's class was hiding. Byleth's eyes glanced from Ingrid to Dorothea. They already knew this meant the professor expected them to follow her. The three of them silently slipped off their mounts.

Professor Byleth, Dorothea, and Ingrid crouched down low. Every step they took must be calculated. One sound and the mission would be compromised. Advancing too quickly could cause a misstep. Advancing too slowly means they might miss the entire conversation the rogues were having. Dorothea stepped too close to a scorching rock. It burned her ankle slightly. She muffled her sound of pain in her shoulder. Ingrid passed her one of the two vulneraries she had. Dorothea nodded her thanks and drank it. The pain subsided quickly. The burn mark was still there, but it now looked as though a few days of healing had already passed. Soon, they were within hearing distance.

"I had to kill ten merchants for these goods. I better get the coin I deserve." Threatened the rider.

"The Boss says these stolen goods are to be sent to Duke Aegir of the Empire. The sucker will pay a shit ton of coin to the Boss for this. Don't screw it up, and you'll get your share. It looks like you dropped a piece already!" He bent to pick up a dagger with jewelry encased in its hilt. "You better secure these goods properly. If you lose any, the Boss will take your life as payment." The man on the top of the wagon scowled and jumped off. He used a second blanket to secure the entire shipment.

"Better. Now get the hell out of here." The Rogue rode off in the opposite direction from the wagon. The wagon resumed its journey.

The trio snuck back to the rest of the group to report their findings. They waited until the wagon was out of sight. Professor Byleth reported the conversation they had overheard.

Dorothea pierced her lips. "Pft. The more we look into this guy, the more I see he's a monster, and no good for my Ingrid!"

"No, kidding. There is no denying it. We'd better get back to the monastery." Ingrid felt relieved, but she could not lower her guard until they were out of this hellish place. Once she was safe and sound in Gregg Mach, she would allow her feelings of relief to wash her guilt away.

"Hold on a minute, you brats! Hand over the girl!" A man spotted them from behind.

"Surely you can't mean me, wait...Did he send them?" Ingrid's hand gripped her lance, while the other tightened its hold on Dessa's reins. She had too many questions swimming around in her mind, but now was not the time for them.

The man was suddenly joined by a dozen reinforcements. Their covert mission had been compromised. Distain coated Dorothea's voice. "This jerk figures he can grab Ingrid before things get too messy for him." Her eyes shifted to the professor. "Of course, we know the truth about him now, and he'll want to kill us and get rid of the evidence...But we'll never let him take Ingrid, come on, hurry! Protect Ingrid, don't let anyone get near her!"

Ingrid cringed at the words, "Protect Ingrid." She was not a helpless maiden just there for show. She was not someone biding their time at the academy until married off. She was not meant for a life of quiet obedience, imprisoned in her Lord's wealthy manor. She was a powerful fighter. She was training to be a Knight. A spark had been ignited in her. The spark quickly turned into a blazing fire within her. A fire, Ingrid had thought was permanently snuffed out by Glenn, her father, her friends, and herself.

The man stepped back at the intensity of Ingrid's glare. "You'll never escape."

"No, you'll never escape!" In a heartbeat, Ingrid had flown up with Dessa and landed a striking blow to the Rogue's chest. With the swiftness of the wind, she circled back and landed her second blow. A sickening crack was heard as his left collar bone snapped in two. "I aim for greatness!" Without looking back, Ingrid advanced.

Sylvain did not have time to react to Ingrid's sudden advance. Professor Byleth yelled her orders while bracing for an attack. "Sylvain, Felix, Dorothea, and Mercedes follow Ingrid's lead. She is going south, and that is where we entered this place, and where we can exit it. The rest of you come with me! There are dangerous hot spots that will cause damage. Tread carefully!"

Felix grunted and jumped into the fray. His sword and movements were so swift and precise, to the untrained eye, it looked like a choreographed dance. Not a wasted movement. Everything was planned and executed flawlessly. His sword was no match for these thugs, and he knew it. "Is that all?" He taunted the fallen Rogues.

A giant fireball shot past Sylvain's head. It struck one of the mages in the distance. Sylvain's horse reared up at the sudden, booming sound. Sylvain was still getting used to Dorothea's ranged magic attacks in battle. They were always precise and devastating. There was no trace of the mage that Dorothea struck with her meteor. Only charred dirt.

Sylvain calmed his horse and scanned the ground carefully before advancing. There were numerous hot spots that looked like they had been cracked open by lava. He shuddered at the thought of what would happen if his horse walked on one.

Ingrid had advanced further as Dessa could easily fly over the dangerous hot spots. Ingrid was a powerful fighter, Sylvain would give her that, but even a great fighter could be outnumbered and defeated. He must get to her side quickly. Sylvain felt a stabbing pain in his heart at the thought of her in danger. 

He was not able to dwell on the thought too long as an axe fighter was running at him. Sylvain tugged at the reins, and his horse leaped to the side, missing the attack. He struck the axe fighter in the back with his crescent sickle. The axe fighter yelled in pain, spitting blood from his mouth. His hand dropped to his waist, grabbing a throwing axe. He hurled it at Sylvain with impressive speed. Sylvain ducked his head and heard the whooshing sound of the axe as it barely missed him. The sickle sliced down the axe fighter's shoulder, cutting deep into his body. The axe fighter fell to the ground.

"Ingrid!" Felix yelled. "Get back here so we can protect you and do our mission!" Felix was in the middle of a four-person attack. He was holding his own until one mage cast a thunder spell, knocking Felix back. At that moment, a rogue threw a javelin straight at Felix. Felix was unable to dodge it quick enough. His eyes closed, bracing for the incoming hit. Instead, he heard a clash of steel on steel. Opening his eyes, he saw Ingrid flying in front of him. "I'll watch your back! Cut them down."

Felix smiled. "You don't need to tell me." The duo cut through each opponent with ease. Ingrid would fly up and swoop down to deal death blow after death blow. The enemy lines were thinning, and they could see their escape route.

Dorothea and Mercedes were also closing in on the final enemies to the left of them. They took out the mages, preventing them from interfering with their classmate's fights.

Ingrid flew up to locate Professor Byleth and the others. A powerful force hit her back, almost throwing her off Dessa. She gripped the reins with her right hand, but she could not move her left arm. Her eyes followed her arm up, looking for the source of pain. An arrow was protruding out of her shoulder. It just missed her collar bone, but it must have hit muscle putting her arm out of commission. Ingrid gathered up more of the rein in her other hand and directed Dessa downward.

Two meters from the ground, Ingrid felt another blow. This time, it threw her from Dessa. She landed on her back, knocking the wind out of her temporarily. The battle was still raging on. Ingrid knew she did not have the luxury of a moment to catch her breath. She must get herself on her feet quickly. Before rising, Ingrid checked her body for a second arrow. However, she only had one. "Dessa!" Ingrid cried out in panic. Dessa was lying on the ground, an arrow sticking out of her wing, matching the one in Ingrid's shoulder.

Ingrid carefully made her way over to Dessa. When catching Ingrid's eye, Dessa shifted up slowly to a standing position. Her legs were unharmed. Only her wing was injured. The breath Ingrid had been holding in, released. Ingrid's right hand stroked Dessa's forehead. "Shhh." Dessa calmed into her touch. Ingrid located the arrow on Dessa's wing, two hand's length away from the base of the wing. Luckily, it hit the feathered area and not the bone. Ingrid dared not touch it. She grabbed her last vulnerary and helped Dessa drink it. It would not be able to heal Dessa, but at least it would help with the pain and prevent infection.

From behind, Ingrid heard the clanking sound of approaching armor. Ingrid still had not located her lance. She shifted her gaze toward the sound and saw a sword user approaching. This sword user did not look like the previous rogues. It was clear from his presence, grip on his sword, and stance that he was a skilled fighter. More reinforcements circled Sylvain and Felix. Ingrid had not been able to locate Mercedes and Dorothea. Ingrid hoped everyone was unharmed. She pulled out the dagger she kept in her boot.

The sword user was fast. Ingrid was wounded and only had a dagger to defend herself. The first hit, Ingrid was able to block. The second, she hit away just before it landed. The third struck her left shoulder, just missing the arrow that was still sticking out of Ingrid. She clenched her teeth as the pain jolted through her. Ingrid pushed her shoulder into the sword. The sword user was now in the distance, and Ingrid pushed her dagger into their chest. She kept pushing deeper and deeper until her enemy lost their grip on the sword and fell.

Ingrid was panting hard now. She held her breath as she pulled out the sword from her shoulder. Her left shoulder and arm were completely numb. With haste, Ingrid located her lance. Her lance felt ten times as heavy in her one hand. She had practiced swinging the lance with one hand on the training grounds. However, she was not able to fight with it in one hand for long. Now, she would have to push herself to the limit in order to reach the escape route without receiving any more blows. Mercedes would be heading to the escape route as well.  _ Hopefully, I can reach her soon _ . With her lance in hand, Ingrid walked with Dessa towards the escape route. Three rogues spotted the injured Ingrid and came at her all at once.

"This is the girl the Boss wants. How pathetic looking. He told us not to harm you. Well, unless you put up a fight." The Rogue with the axe grinned.

"Come on, princess! Show us how you 'play' at fighting." The grappler tightened his grip around his spiked gauntlets.

The third Rogue was a mage and she remained silent, but Ingrid spotted magic circling her hands. Ingrid would have to be smart, swift, and precise with her attacks if she wanted to survive this.

The grappler struck at her first. Ingrid dodged his first and second punch. She turned swiftly, facing his back, and jabbed her lance into the middle of his back. He cried out in pain. Ingrid kicked him off her lance and to the ground with her left leg. She then spun around and blocked the axe fighter's blow with her lance.

The axe fighter swung at Ingrid again. This time he disarmed her, knocking her lance a few meters away. He used both hands to grip his axe, readying to strike Ingrid with a death blow. She dodged to the side and she pushed her dagger into his exposed stomach. She released her grip on the lodged dagger and let the axe fighter collapse on to it.

_ Where's the mage? _ Ingrid frantically looked around. Her strength was leaving her. More blood was trickling out from her shoulder. A sudden, electric shock pushed her to the ground. She started trembling uncontrollably as the shock made its way through her body.

When the trembles subsided, Ingrid could barely keep her eyes open. Her entire body was numb now, and she felt the last of her strength, leaving her. "Glenn...you can tell me yourself now." Her eyes closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The world feels like a scary place right now. I hope everyone is staying safe.


End file.
